On the first day of volleyball practice, I don’t start with a drill. I start with who I am, how I am going to talk to them, what we are there to do, and what they should say when they get lost. It takes about five minutes, and the balls end up on the floor.

The video is the real opening of our first practice with a new 12U group. It is one static take and nothing is staged. After 34 years of coaching, this is how I want a room of strangers to begin.

I tell them who I am

I start with my name, because nobody can say it. “My name is Andor, like condor, and Gyulai, like the month.” Then I ask where I am from, and we go back and forth until somebody puts South Africa on the map. “It’s right on the tip of Africa. And I came all the way from Africa to play volleyball in college.”

Then I tell them about the sixth graders from our club who made their middle school teams this year, and I ask the question that wakes up the room. “How many of you guys want to make the middle school team next year?” You can hear the answers on the video.

After that my coaches talk, and they don’t read me a résumé. I ask them to tell the kids about themselves and what they love about volleyball. One coach says it “gets me active and it gets me out of the things in life that you shouldn’t be in.” The other says volleyball “helped me get out of bad places I was in my life, especially during high school.”

I warn them about my condition

Next I tell them I suffer from something. “I suffer from something called BH.” The kids start guessing, so I clear that up. “Not BO.” Most of the time I’m good on that one.

BH is brutal honesty. “I’m always going to tell you the truth.” And then the part that sets our standard: “I only recognize excellence.” If you do something excellent, I will tell you how proud I am. If you do something that is not good, I am not going to tell you it was wonderful.

I explain it with something every kid knows. “It’s kind of like when you came home, you made that little papier-mâché at school and your mom goes, ‘Oh, it’s so wonderful.’ And your dad throws it in the garbage.” They laugh, and they get it.

I ask for the goal three times

“What’s our number one goal?” I ask it, and I keep asking until the room answers together: have fun with our friends playing volleyball.

Then comes the question they don’t expect. If you are not having fun, whose fault is it? “It’s your fault,” I tell them. “Because you didn’t tell me.”

That sounds rough until you hear what comes next, because I give them the words to fix it. We practice two sentences out loud: “I need help” and “I don’t understand.” We have lots of coaches in that gym, and our job is to make those kids happy. We can’t do that job if nobody tells us.

The balls go down and the circle goes up

The last thing I do is the one that makes some kids squirm. “Put the volleyballs down. Now, this is maybe a little uncomfortable for some of you.” I have them put their arms around each other and make new friends in a group, and I move them closer until it is really a group.

That is also a rule, not just a moment. When I am talking and we are in our special circle, the balls go down and the arms go around each other. Then I end it the easy way. “Give five high fives. Tell five different people you’re awesome.”

What to copy on your first day

You don’t need my accent to do this. Here is the order, if you want to try it on your own first day of practice:

• Tell them who you are. Your name, where you came from and why you are in this gym.
• Let your assistants talk. Ask them what they love about volleyball, and let them answer honestly.
• Name how you will talk to them. Mine is brutal honesty. Yours may be something else, but say it out loud before the first correction.
• Ask for the goal until they say it together. Don’t announce it. Make them say it.
• Give them the two sentences. “I need help.” “I don’t understand.” Have them practice both out loud.
• Set up how you will gather. Decide what the group does when you talk, then teach it on day one.

None of this takes a ball, and all of it is finished in about five minutes. The drills can have the rest of the practice.

Coaches can find how we run the rest of a season in the Volleyball1on1 Coaching Manual. If you live near St. Augustine, Florida, you can see this gym at a club tryout.